3 Months Back: Royal Family Reflection

Three months ago, my adventure at Dudley began. Here's an exert from a journal article I wrote on the first day of camp:

Well, I'm finally here. <3 I can't believe camp has already started; yet, it seems like just yesterday Magic and I were sitting in Flaming J's eating rice and starting out countdown to camp, which was 77 days away at the time.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully express my love and appreciation for camp. I can honestly say that camp saved me, and now, I’m going to do everything I can to change these kids’ lives for the better. That is my #1 goal for this summer.

This week is Royal Family, which is a fabulous program for foster kids. It is such a fabulous program. I'm mainly here as a lifeguard, but I've been kept very busy belaying, prepping/cleaning after meals, and doing any other random jobs that need to be done. I'm truly happy to help.

I really enjoy guarding for these kids... they're very polite and so sweet. One little girl saw the box of flippers and asked if she could use them if she promised to share. How many eight year-old girls would do that? I was a little nervous at first because very few of them have ever been in a pool before, but it went way better than expected.

Yesterday morning we had jugs of milk out for breakfast, and one little girl came up and asked how much the milk would cost her. It just about broke my heart, but in a good way.

Today I realized just how much I want to do ropes down the road. I love belaying for these kids, cheering them on, seeing them almost give up, and then push themselves past their comfort zones and succeed. I just really love all the opportunities camp gives these  kids. I just love camp in general.

Low Ropes, Blindfolds & This Crazy Life in General

Growing up, I was always very independent and responsible. I sort of had to be. My mom was always in and out of the hospital, and my dad seemed to be busy doing other things. I, being the oldest child, had to step in where others could not. I eventually fell into a habit of trying to do everything on my own and stressing when I didn't quite measure up to high expectations. I resisted help when it was offered in fear of appearing weak or incapable.

Then , in middle school, I went to summer camp. There, I took the first step in breaking free of my "I don't need help" mindset. For a low ropes activity one sunny afternoon, my peers and I were all blindfolded and taken to a rope that we were told went from one tree to another. She told us to find the end of the rope. After a few minutes of struggle, the ropes director reminded us that we could ask for help if we wanted it--all we needed to do was raise our hands. I, of course, didn't need help. Until several minutes later when I still couldn't find the end of the rope. As I raised my hand, I felt stupid and ashamed. Then the lady came over and took off my blindfold, revealing a large square made from the rope, with the two ends tied tightly together. She then explained that, in many situations throughout life, it is vital that we ask for help, because there are some things we just can't face alone.

While I always remembered that lesson, I didn't fully internalize it until just recently. This summer I learned that many hands make lighter work and a happier, less-stressed out me. Another thing I learned is that help doesn't need to be a physical thing: help can be a text asking for advice or a hug. In fact, sometimes those are the best forms of help a person can ask for.

Now, for the flip-side of things. As evident above, not everyone is comfortable asking for help. Often times, saying, "Let me know if there's anything I can do" is not enough. Sometimes people need you to ask, "What can I do to help?". You may need to take the initiative to be supportive, lend a helping hand where you can, send that "How are you doing?" text and follow up, and so on. Having been on both sides of this scenario, I can promise you that people appreciate the comfort of knowing that you care. Just trust me on this one :)

So here's my challenge to you today: be the friend you wish you had, whether it be during a moment of chaos, heartbreak, stress, or everyday happenings. YOU can make a difference--and help a friend learn that it's okay to not be okay and that's okay to ask for help.

And that's my story.

Radiant, Match-Lit Candles

This summer evening settles down.

Orange smoke from crackling campfire

Floats through the Cascade air.

“Experience of a Lifetime” sign

Swings back and forth on it’s rusty hinges.

Ten o’clock.

 

The campers of Cabin 4 turn from fire’s warmth

And step into the shadows, to their temporary home.

Their faces beam with a pure, joyous light,

Like radiant, match-lit candles entering the starless night.

 

Ecstatic, they run about playing Pterodactyl and Kum-Cha

With best friends made in a day,

Creating memories that will survive eternity.

 

The children eventually settle down in creaky bunk beds

As Noodle lolls them to a solid slumber

With tales of Peter Pan and Cinderella.

 

At last, Camp Dudley comes to rest

In the deep-cast shadow of Kamiakin’s crest.

The familiar full moon stands guard,

Mirrored off Clear Lake.

 

The sky pinpricked God’s white blood

And scattered it amongst the vast unknown,

Dark as the deep in the black of an eye.

 

With sweet dreams of today’s adventures:

Hiking Round Mountain and daring the Leap of Faith,

Campers sleep soundly ‘til morning

When the first bird sings.

My Favorite Place

          Picture this: A young woman, wide eyes beaming with fully-charged optimism, drives her Ivory-white, vintage Buick along a half mile dirt road. She passes the hand-painted “Welcome to Camp Dudley” sign that swings back and forth on its rusty hinges and joins the heroic staff of her childhood summer camp. Her thin smile stretches upward and her long-hidden dimples reappear, the weight and worry of her world dissipating instantly.

That young woman is me. I work at a small, 11 acre summer camp situated on the breathtaking shores of Clear Lake. Camp Dudley was my home for eight weeks this summer, and it was, without-a-doubt, the experience of a lifetime. I have never been happier in my life. Everything just felt right: the staff was incredibly welcoming, the campers blossomed, and I loved teaching children of all ages. My soul was truly at peace and I felt in harmony with nature. Rays of heavy sunlight beamed down into our little world by day, and the familiar full moon stood guard in the heart of the sky by night, illuminating its brilliant light off Clear Lake. Looking up at the Heavens, the vivid stars looked like God’s white blood, pinpricked and splattered amongst the vast unknown, dark as the deep in the black of an eye, Demon or Deity. Thick smoke from the crackling campfire floated through the fresh, Cascade air, drifting over streams and stumps.

Camp was literally life-changing. I gained the confidence needed to overcome silent-but-toxic insecurities about myself. My belief in God flourished as I spent many nights in the open forest, gazing in awe at his beautiful, infinite creations. I learned a great ordeal about thinking on my toes, managing my time and energy, and being open, accepting, and charitable to everyone.

            I came to realize that true happiness occurs while in the service of others. At camp, I got to spend countless hours working with young, innocent children who have been guarded from the evils of the world as well as kids who missed out on childhood and were forced to grow up quickly. I loved getting to talk with these campers and give each of them a flicker of hope and love. Camp Dudley has the perfect combination of fun activities, good friends, positive role models, a strong sense of belonging, budding confidence, strengthened group unity and leadership skills, which ultimately offers a true experience of a lifetime. When the campers left at the end of each week, their faces seemed to beam with a pure, joyous light as they entered the starless night beyond camp.

I believe that camp changes lives. It changed mine. Camp, to me, is a Heaven on Earth, and it is a safe zone where I can be truly happy. Camp will always be my second home and favorite place in this world.